Rise, Fall, Golden Age
by Nicholas de Vilance
Summary: //Long oneshot, but I don't think I want to ruin it for you so the only thing I'll put as a summary is that there is straight and slash ahead. Oh, and a lot of angst, you know me!//


Nicholas: Yo, this was a bit of a challenge fic, compliments of A Hotter Kiss a Better Touch, because she's cool like that. I think my writing sort of dies toward the middle and then picks up again at the end. Sorry, I wrote this over a series of days. I was planning on doing it in three parts, three chapters, but I'm just too lazy right now...anyway, enjoy! And there is a bit of an unexpected at the end. Connor's on top! Surprise, surprise!

Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't sue!

Rating: M...language...suggestiveness...not-so-nice-ness...the presence of an uber bitch!

* * *

**Rise**

Was it Philadelphia this time? Or was it Moscow, Russia? It didn't seem like there was much of a difference anymore. The Saints of South Boston—as they were often called—now seemed to be the Saints of "anywhere we can get away from the police." Places blurred together. They moved often, once every one or two months, and every time they got a relatively nice apartment with the money took from the people they killed. Bad men turned to dead men, so they wouldn't need it anymore, right?

Wherever they went, the twins made sure there was a bar. No true Irishmen would make it more than a week without a pub or something to that extent. Now days it seemed that that was Connor and Murphy MacManus' first stop.

Connor was drunk before Murphy. He had to do that or suffer with his mind. He had to do that or suffer with the recent horror of their father's death and the older pain of their best friend Rocco's murder. Murphy didn't seem to let it bother him so much. He didn't quite understand why Connor had to brood on it—both good men were in heaven now—but he didn't bring it up. He did understand that there were some things about Connor that were miles deep that even he wouldn't dare venture into.

So Connor was well into intoxication when the door to the quaint little deli opened and shut; Murphy was only a bit tipsy. Connor continued to stare at his shot glass while Murphy looked up. He didn't hear the greeting of that pretty, long-legged blond that approached them out of the many people in the crowded room.

"Hey there, gents," she said, sitting with crossed legs beside Murphy.

Murphy gave her a slightly quizzical smile, but Connor still looked intently at the whiskey in his glass. "'Ello," Murphy said warmly, but the other didn't respond.

She seemed slightly taken aback by the blond's unresponsiveness. "Is he deaf, or something?" Rubbing one bare arm, she motioned toward the other twin.

Murphy just smirked slightly and put an arm around his brother. "Nah, he's just thinkin'. Right, Conn?"

At last, Connor lifted the glass to his lips. Before he drank, he muttered: "Jus' havin' a little dialogue with gravity." His voice slurred to a dangerous extent. After he'd knocked back what he'd officially decided would be his last shot, he leaned his head onto his arm on the bar counter.

She laughed quietly. "Are you guys brothers?"

"Twins," Murphy replied proudly. "Th'name's Murphy and that's Connor…well, that's kinda Connor. Ye should see him when he en't drunk." He nudged his brother's shoulder just enough to knock him off balance a bit. Connor just smiled lightly and shoved him playfully muttering something like "I en't drunk, ya jack ass."

"Right good Irish names," she commented, "fits the accents. I'm Valiance."

"Ya sound like an Aussie."

"Very attentive you are, mate. You can call me Val, though."

Murphy chuckled lightly. "Can I buy you a drink?" he offered like the gentleman he was.

Connor smirked, his attention not completely discharged by alcohol. "_Vergessen Sie nicht, ein Kondom(_1)," he chuckled on a lazy breath. Murphy elbowed him sharply and Connor started to laugh out loud.

* * *

Valiance agreed to help drag Connor's piss-faced form home, even though Murphy would have preferred not to bother her with it. "It's alright," she had said, "You need help, I'm willing to give it."

So they each took one of Connor's arms and began the journey to the subway. Both were surprised to see Connor stay completely unconscious, even on the train. After that ordeal was over—wishing to forget Murphy's fight with an old lady over two seats for his brother to lay across—Val helped still in getting drunk Connor to the apartment that the twins were renting.

"This is nice," she stated once Connor was safely in one of the beds in the large bedroom that took up most of the apartment. She wandered into the cozy living room/dining room and tossed herself down on the old couch; one could immediately tell that this couch had been in the place for many, many tenants before them.

"Yeah, it'll do fer now," Murphy said looking around as though he'd never actually been there before. "Thank ye fer yer help. I appreciate it."

"You're very welcome. Please, though, don't mention it. I really don't mind it. I had to drag my brother's worthless ass home more than once before."

Murphy found himself laughing just a bit more than he probably should have. He sat down next to her and rubbed his eyes slightly. Something was very different about this lady. She sure was something. "Yer a corker," he muttered under his breath.

With a raised eyebrow, she giggled slightly. "Is that a good thing?"

It hadn't occurred to him till then that he'd said it out loud. He held back a laugh. "That really remains ta be seen," he stated with a smirk.

Val pushed his shoulder playfully with a laugh. "'Remains to be seen?' I don't like the sound of that for some reason."

They shared a comfortable laugh on the couch in the living room and it soon became apparent that neither Murphy nor Val wanted her to leave. So she didn't. She sat there next to Murphy with a smile on her face.

It didn't take more than a second. It couldn't possibly have been longer than a split second or one of them would have stopped the other. They didn't stop, though, so it was that quick. Val had her arms around his neck and Murphy was holding the base of her neck. In between their sudden embrace was a passionate tangle of tongues. Neither knew or cared what had brought it on.

Panting breaths. Hands running over skin just under clothes. Murphy's back pressed into the couch, his neck now on the armrest, he let his hand travel down her side and his fingers press into her firm thigh. Val put a knee on each side of him and clamped them around his hips.

That dazzling dance of their tongues lost music for a moment. Val almost pouted when he broke away, but his hands were still roaming. When she felt a few of his fingers snake around her under her shirt to fiddle with the back of her bra, she got over it. She immediately fell in love with the feeling of his hands on her.

* * *

Connor woke up late in the afternoon, his head pounding and a nauseous feeling in his stomach. He waited a few minutes before he attempted to get to his feet, but once he'd managed that miracle it was easy from there on out. Out of habit, he looked at the other bed in the room. Murphy wasn't there.

"Murph?" He called, walking unsteadily into the hall. There was no answer. Strange…

Connor went to the bathroom to take a piss, but was stopped as soon as he looked in the mirror. He looked like someone had taken a black, felt tip marker and written all over his face in another language. As he gawked and stared, he realized that was because someone _had_ taken a black, felt tip marker and written all over his face in another language.

His head ached was enough to discourage any attempts at translation until he saw that it was written in Gaelic. _God damn…Murphy!_ He clenched his fists and leaned against the sink in front of him. Once more looking in the mirror, he began to decipher the mixed up mess of a message on his skin.

_"Dear Connor,_

_ Me and Val went to see a movie and get lunch. Sorry we didn't invite you, but you sleep like a rock. I thought for sure that writing all over your face would wake you up, but I guess I was wrong. In case you need to reach me, Val's cell phone number is written below your belly button. Hope I didn't screw up the mirror writing, see you tonight._

_Love,_

_Murphy and Valiance_

_P.S. This is sharpie, so it may take a while for it to come off. Sorry!"_

For a moment, Connor was just staring, bewildered that the entire message had fit on his face and upper chest. He looked down at himself and saw a phone number written upside down on his stomach just below his naval as Murphy had promised.

It wasn't so much the writing on his skin that pissed him off. That would come off with enough scrubbing. He was angry at the fact that Murphy just took off. Usually one twin would wait for the other so they wouldn't have to be alone, but Murphy didn't have to be alone. He had his fucking Valiance.

With an annoyed grumble, Connor wrote down the phone number on the back of a pack of cigarettes and then returned to the bathroom to try and wash off the nuisance of black ink that plagued his face.

**Fall**

It really was a fast relationship, and Murphy didn't mind. He couldn't really mind. He didn't have time. If he got into a serious relationship he wanted the chance to make it last at least as long as he stayed in his current location. So he and Val were quickly serious and seriously quick. Connor tried not to give notice of his increasing annoyance that Murphy was always with Valiance and not him.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Murphy stated, pulling his coat on. He shoved a pack of cigarettes in his jeans pocket and loaded two guns, his knife, and a coil of rope in his duffle bag. "Just the same, don't expect me till late tamorrow."

Connor nodded with a serious frown. "Ya didn't tell Val?"

"What d'ya want me ta tell her?" He casually checked his lighter before putting that in his pocket as well. "'I'm off ta infiltrate a major body of organized crime. See ya tamorrow.' Not the most charmin' thing ta say, is it?"

With a laugh, Connor handed Murphy his holy rosary—the both of which they now kept safe in a little rosewood chest in the back of the closet. "I s'pose yer right. Remember, tho'. Don' do anythin' stupid. Things get too hot, get the fuck outta there."

"Me? Do somethin' stupid? Never!" Murphy chuckled lightly. He saw Connor make a serious face. "Don' worry, Ma, I can handle meself."

"Oh, just get the fuck outta here, ya little bastard."

They laughed, but only for a moment. The dire seriousness of the situation sunk back in and they both lost their mirth. "Maybe I should go with ya, just in case," Connor offered.

"No, I need ye ta keep an eye on things here. We got too much valuable shite now that we can afford it." He smirked for a second. Then he returned to being ever so slightly nervous. He could see the same nervousness reflected in his twin's eyes. "Don' worry, I promise that, through hell or high water, I'll come back in one piece."

Connor nodded, trying to force a smile and failing miserably. He wrapped his arms around his brother and pulled him into a tight embrace. "_Revenis bientôt, s'il te plaît_.(2)"

"I will," Murphy assured him, patting his back gently. "_Prometto_…I promise."

* * *

6:45 PM from a nice little apartment somewhere in the United States of America, Murphy left to go see what he could see pertaining to the most prominent crime syndicate in the area. Connor stayed at home, praying to god in every language that he knew that his brother would be safe. He didn't think he would be able to live through another tragic death like Da and Rocco's.

The evening was very dark for some reason, though that might just have been because he kept all of the blinders in the flat closed and didn't bother to turn on the lights. He was going to try and sleep without the steady breathing of his brother near him. After three hours of that failed venture, he gave a frustrated grumble, pulled his jeans back on but left his shirt off and went to the kitchen.

He was still getting used to actually using a kitchen. Every place they'd been to lately has had a quaint, little area for meals to be prepared and Connor stayed clear. He only ever went in there to get a glass of water, like now for instance.

After filling a plastic cup with tap water, he drank it down boredly. Just as he finished off the drink, there was a knock at the door. Abruptly, he turned around and stared into the hall at the front door. It most definitely wasn't Murphy, so who else would be visiting them—especially this late at night? Probably someone at the wrong door, Connor decided. Just the same, he set his cup down and went to the cupboard beneath the sink. They had stashed a gun there just in case; one could never be too careful.

With the handgun in hand (quite the redundancy), Connor approached the door just as whoever was there knocked again. Slowly, carefully, he hooked the security chain, unlocked the knob and opened the door as far as it would go.

"Hey Connor." It was just Val.

"Oh, hi." Connor felt a bit like an idiot right then, but hey: better safe than sorry. He closed the door, undid the chain and then opened it again for her. "What time is it?"

"About nine at night," she answered flatly, "S'Murph home?…What's with the gun?"

Connor looked at it and shrugged. "I'm just…I don't…I get a bit paranoid at night. No, Murphy en't here right now. He'll be back tamorrow…pro'bly."

"Probably?" Val adopted a look of concern. The way she went about this emotion struck Connor as a bit fake. "Where is he?"

"Working."

"Working at what?"

They both knew he'd say nothing about it. In the month that Valiance had been dating Murphy, she learned the yea and nay of the MacManus twins' occupation. "He'll be back tamorrow," Connor repeated with a bit of a reassuring smile.

Deep down, Connor was praying that she'd accept that and leave. Not because he didn't want to have to answer her never-ending stream of questions—though that was also annoying—he didn't like talking to her.

"There isn't the slightest chance that he'll be back early?" Persistent, isn't she?

"No, I very much doubt it." Connor sighed as he realized she wasn't going away. "He just left about three hours ago…Want me ta call ya when he gets back?"

"No, I…could I stay here, do you think? Just until he returns?"

Can't take the hint. As much as Connor wanted to just shut the door and forget she was there, he didn't have it in him. Perhaps it was that he didn't want to be rude to his brother's girlfriend…Nah, we all know it was her stupid mini-skirt. "Sure, Val. Come on in."

As soon as the door closed, Connor went back to the kitchen. "Make yerself at home," he called over his shoulder. He wasn't cold towards her because he didn't like her; that wasn't it at all. The only reason he could find was that he was jealous that Murphy spent more time with her, it seems, than he did with Connor. It wasn't a nice feeling. He tried to push it away just for the sake of not being an asshole. "D'ya wan somethin' ta eat?"

"No, thank you." She sat down on the couch and crossed her legs; her eyes followed Connor's bare back into the kitchen. "Sorry if I'm intruding. I realize it's late."

"S'okay," Connor stated without looking back at her. "Ye aren't intrudin' in nothin'. Y'practically lived here the last few weeks anyway." He rummaged through the fridge and successfully emerged with a Guinness and a store-bought, blueberry muffin.

Half of the kitchen was open to the living room—the half with the fridge—so Valiance could watch him perfectly. She found that she liked how he wasn't uncomfortable going shirtless with her around. There wasn't a real reason or explanation for that, it just made her feel more welcome. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Nope." He returned to the living room with his "meal" and sat next to her on the couch. "I tend ta have trouble sleepin' without me brother in the room."

"Ah…twin thing?" She had a collection of things she had dubbed as "twin things." Connor often wondered why she cared so much, but he never asked. "Can I ask you a question?"

Mid-bite, Connor managed an awkward nod. He then munched on his muffin and took a sip of beer to wash it down.

"Do you try to be so much the opposite of your brother?"

That earned a strange look. Connor stared at her thoughtfully as he swallowed. "I didn't know I was the opposite o' me brother."

"You are, tho'. By the basics: you have light hair, he has dark hair. Your skin is tan, his is pale. He's eccentric, you're laid back. He stays relatively sober while you get shit-faced drunk." Val uncrossed her legs and leaned forward a bit.

"Ye actually think about stuff like that?" When she nodded, he paused then took a long drink of Guinness.

"I rest my case," she muttered with a giggle.

Shaking his head, he swallowed. "No, he stays sober _because_ I get drunk, an' that was his fuckin' idea."

"Someone's gotta take care of you…Why do you do it?"

What business was it of hers? Connor set his beer on the end table and turned to look at her straight in the eyes. "There's some things I'd just rather ferget."

Valiance shifted under his sharp gaze before finally just looking away—not valiant in the least. "Like what?" she persisted, avoiding looking at him.

He didn't want to answer; he didn't want to think about it. With a sigh, he leaned back into the couch and set his muffin nest to his beer. "I don'…Maybe last year, our best friend Rocco was murdered in front of Murphy an' me. And about two months go, we had ta bury our father in an empty lot off the side o' the road because we didn't have enough money fer a proper funeral at the time."

An astounded expression dully lit up her face. "I'm…I'm so sorry." Of course, she'd say that. What else could a person say?

"S'not yer fault. It's mine. It's because o' what we do, an' that was basically my fuckin' idea."

"Why do you keep doing it then?"

"God's will, luv." This time he stood and walked into the other room, a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He left his muffin and beer where he'd put them; his appetite was gone.

* * *

Connor allowed Val to stay the night in his bed. She apparently couldn't be in Murphy's without said twin there also. Women are weird. Anyway, once they'd finally gotten around to sleeping, Connor found that the quiet company of another breath made his mind clear. It wasn't his brother, and he knew that, but the sound was comforting in itself. He knew he'd get sleep at last.

He hadn't removed his jeans, a simple courtesy for the lady in the room. That slight discomfort was the only think that slowed him in losing consciousness. As he sat awake in his brother's bed, he got to thinking about how many times Murphy and Val had probably fucked on these same sheets. Then he got to thinking about how Murphy and Val didn't really seem like a good couple. Then he got to thinking about how Val looked damn good in a fucking mini-skirt and tank top. His annoyance and irritation with her had dissipated.

After he'd dozed off at last, he dreamt for a while. It was one of those nightmares that plagued him more often than not. Silent, loud screams hung in the air of the basement, just above Rocco's body. Rocco, unmoving, lifeless. Behind that terrible sight was a worse one. The late Mafia Don Papa Joe Yakavetta pushed Murphy to his knees and put his pistol level with Murphy's right eye. Connor couldn't move.

Too familiarly horrifying for Connor to fight the dream. He stared at this scenario again as he had many nights before and tried to scream, tried to move…tried to stop it. He couldn't. Murphy cursed behind a duct tape gag, but he kept his dignity. The hammered clicked back and Yakavetta's blank face gave way to a slight smirk.

The loudest shriek of a bullet ripping through the air and flesh and bone pulled Connor up and out of his hellish nightmares, leaving a ringing sound in his ears. He thought he could still see all of the gore and blood staining that filthy basement wall, but he knew without a doubt it wasn't true. It wasn't real, no matter how real it looked. With a deep breath, Connor looked around.

"Shit," he muttered, reaching a shaking hand up to wipe unshed tears from his eyes. Valiance was sitting beside him, looking very startled. He looked away to try and regain at least some pride.

"You've been making noises for the last half hour," she commented, taking one of his shivering hands from his face. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." A blatant lie; he could tell she saw right through it. "Sorry I woke ye up."

"Oh, don't worry about it." She smiled and stroked his palm gently with her thumb. "What was your dream about?"

He looked at her again, wiping his face with his other hand. He felt very embarrassed that he was crying in front of her, but at the same time, he didn't mind it at all. Her presence made him feel suddenly more at ease. Was this how she made Murphy feel? "It's nothin' ta worry about."

Her smile widened a bit and she shook her head hopelessly. "All men are the same. They have to be cool as ice, or it's a threat to their fucking masculinity, right?"

"I s'pose so." He shrugged lightly and tried to smile past the lingering image in his mind's eye and the tightness that still clutched his chest. Speaking of his chest: before he could see this, he felt her nails drag gently up his bare skin, her other hand locking fingers with his.

For a split second, he just looked at her, wondering what she was doing. Connor stared wide-eyed at her when she leaned forward and kissed him chastely on the lips. Fuck it, there was nothing chaste about it, and it left a fire raging to his brain. It was dangerous and deadly, and the feeling of it was almost too overwhelming.

He let her push him down to the bed. If he had wanted to, he could have stopped her and he should have. The point is, he didn't. He let her kiss him and run her fingers over his bare flesh, igniting tingles and vibrations through his form. He let her undo his jeans and what not because right then he had a vice on his mind. He was jealous, as childish as it sounds. Murphy was his twin brother long before he became Val's boyfriend, so Connor deserved a bit more from him and if this got back at him for spending more time with Valiance than he had with Connor, it was as good as anything else.

It was wrong, Connor knew that. He just didn't want to stop, and he wondered what must be going on in Valiance's head while she knowingly cheated on Murphy. Well, Connor wasn't any better because he was really the one who fucked her, and on his brother's bed.

* * *

"G'morning," Valiance said as she stood in the kitchen making breakfast at eleven thirty in the morning. She smiled at him as Connor entered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Sleep okay? Anymore nightmares?"

"Nope," Connor stated tiredly. She was wearing a T-shirt that might have been his or Murphy's and a pair of boxers that were most likely his. "Babies don' sleep that good."

Valiance giggled quietly when he came up behind her and hugged her around the waist. She didn't have a guilty conscience—I doubt she had a conscience at all. "How do you like your eggs?"

"Over-easy." Connor liked her, he'd admit that. What he didn't like was that she'd cheated on Murphy, but that was just a dim thought in comparison with something else. As he held her and nuzzled his face into her shoulder, he smelt Murphy in the shirt. He held her a bit tighter.

After they had eaten breakfast and what not, both were surprised to hear the phone ring. Valiance was surprised because she didn't know they had a phone in their apartment, Connor was surprised because he hadn't given anyone the number to this particular phone. It had to be Murphy, then. Carefully, he answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Conn. I need your fuckin' help."

Connor could hear a commotion in the background. "What's goin' on?"

"I'm fucked. Seriously fucked. D'ya think ya could get out here in the next ten minutes?" He was talking quietly for some reason.

"Wait a minute, where are ye? No, never mind, how am I s'posed to go now? Valiance is here."

A short pause. "What the fuck is she doin' there?"

"Came last night an' decided ta wait till ya got back. Anyway, what happened Murphy?"

"It's Murphy?" Val perked up and was at Connor's side in an instant. She looked only slightly nervous about Murphy.

"Listen, Connor, just tell her to go home. She really shouldn't be there right now." There was a loud bang on the other end on the line that made Connor jump slightly. "Oh Christ. Connor…fuck…bring her along if ya have to, but get the fuck out here."

"Alright, gimme directions."

* * *

"Murphy?" Connor shined the flashlight along the walls as he called into the large room of the warehouse. Val was clinging slightly to his arm, a bit uneasy about the situation. "Murph! Where are ya?"

"Up here, ya moron." Both started a little at the sound of his voice, but looked up. Murphy was seated on a long metal beam that ran across the room just below the ceiling. "What the fuck took ya so long?" His mock anger was slightly light-hearted and the beam from Connor's flashlight lit up a smirk on his face.

"I don' think I could find me own hand if I had ta follow yer fuckin' directions," Connor stated wryly. "How'd ya get up there?"

A short, contemplative silence from the suspended twin. "They had dogs. Very angry Rotweilers with sharp teeth." Murphy pulled back the sleeve of his shirt to show his shiny, new dog bite. Blood stained his skin and the cloth as well. "Hi, Val." He seemed less than enthusiastic to see her.

"Hello," she said awkwardly, still grasping Connor's shirt as if she feared banishment to another dimension if she let go.

"Murphy, can ya jump down?" That was Connor.

Murphy scoffed and adopted an offended face. "O' course I can, I'm just lovin' the fuckin' view." He made like he was looking around. "Can't see jack shit."

He moved awkwardly on the thin metal bar until he'd turned around and then lowered himself as far as his arms' length, then let himself fall gracefully to the ground. "Aw fuck!" Murphy's ankle twisted the wrong way, so he ended up stumbling, falling backward straight into Connor.

Connor had to catch his brother and consequently knocked Valiance off balance with the sudden change of position and since she had a hold on Connor's shirt, guess who went down with her! Both twins tumbled to the ground, Murphy on top of Connor, while Val rolled out of the way just in time.

"Oh, just fuckin' lovely," Connor gasped. He found it a bit hard to breathe with his brother practically sitting on his stomach. "Get off!"

Murphy gracelessy slid off of his brother, but didn't stand. His ankle hurt like a bitch. "Sorry about that," he muttered. Carefully, he lifted his pant leg to reveal yet another wound that looked like it was a dog bite. "I fergot the little fuckers got me there too."

Immediately, Connor was concerned. "Are ya alright?"

"I'm fine, really," he insisted, letting the pants fall over the injury and forcing himself to stand. "Just out of curiosity, ya didn't happen ta let the door close behind ya on yer way in."

"Yeah, we did," Val stated, rubbing her rear as though it hurt.

"Shit."

Connor watched Murphy limp awkwardly over to a stack of crates lining the wall and sit down. Soon, he remembered all the anger he was currently feeling for his brother, and his concern dissipated. "What?"

"The door can only be opened from one side, the outside, so we're stuck in here until we can find another way out." He cradled his arm gently and looked up. The looked his brother was giving him was enough to alert him to some unspoken belligerence Connor may have been feeling. "What the fuck ya lookin' at me like that fer?"

He then noticed that Valiance was acting a bit strange as well. She didn't seem as perky today as she usually did, and she seemed to be avoiding Murphy's gaze at all costs. "Will someone please tell me why ye two are actin' like ya got some horrible secret?"

Too quickly Val shrugged and turned to go pretend she was doing something. "I'm going to try and find another door or something," she stated loudly.

Both brothers watched her as she disappeared into the dark. Murphy's brow furrowed slightly and he returned his questioning gaze to Connor. "Ya gonna tell me, or let me die o' suspense?"

"What d'ya see in her, Murphy?"

"Huh?"

"I've been tryin' ta figure it out fer a while now. That question's been on my mind: What makes her so special ta Murphy? I still can't figure it out. Sure, she's pretty. She's nice fer the most part, but she's manipulative and kinda spoiled too. I thought, maybe she's good in bed, but that en't the case either."

"And just how the fuck would ye know a thing like that?" Murphy glared at him for a second. He didn't need answer, he knew. He'd figured as much when he'd called the apartment earlier. After a moment of silence, he leaned back against the wall and gently rubbed the sore spot on his arm. "That's fuckin' low, Conn."

"Aye? Well, fuck ye!" Connor wanted to move, walk away, something, but his feet wouldn't obey. "I still don't what made her so fuckin' great that ya'd spend more time with'er than ya did with me. Half o' the time ya didn't even say ye were leavin'. _That's_ fuckin' low."

"So yer jealous, that's it?"

Connor turned and took a few steps away from him. "Un-fuckin'-believable! There is no way that yer that much of an idiot."

Murphy didn't respond at first. Usually, by now, they'd be all fists and kicks, but Murphy was hurt. No matter how mad Connor may have been, he'd never take advantage of that. "What then?" Murphy said at length.

"I'm sick o' sharpie messages on my forehead in the mornin' and ye comin' home at the odd hours o' the night. Jealousy has nothin' ta do with it. I don' want a girl like that. She's a fuckin' succubus."

"Go ta hell." And Murphy left it at that. He didn't look at his brother, no longer acknowledged his existence, and pushed his sleeve up so he could take care of the wound on his forearm. After a beat, he heard Connor walk off. For a moment, he seemed like lonely cat licking a sore paw.

**Golden Age**

Once they'd escaped the dank dark of the warehouse at last—Val had found a weak spot in a wall that gave way with a good push—Connor went with Val in her car, leaving Murphy to drive home alone.

"Is Murphy mad?" Val asked carefully at length.

After such a long silence, it seemed to Connor like sacrilege to break it. He didn't break his gaze with the window on the passenger side. "Aye, he en't too happy. Would ya be?"

"I guess not."

_Really? Ya guess not?_ He scoffed quietly and scratched idly at his forehead. "Ye didn't really love him, did ya?" Now he looked at her. "An' ya don' love me either."She glanced at him, only risking a brief disconnection with her concentration on the road in front of her. "I don't believe in love," she stated coldly. "I believe in nice relationships that last for a while and then crash and burn 'cause that's all I've ever known."

"Well, then I pity ye."

"Pity me?"

"You don' realize that love is a God-given gift meant ta be cherished, not fucked with."

"Well, can you honestly say that you have loved somebody?"

"I do love somebody." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes before searching his other pockets for a lighter.

"Just use the one on the dash," she stated quietly, "it works better." She pushed it in for him and then went silent. For a while, she thought he was being stupid. Love is just a fairy tale for idealists…but then she started to think. Maybe he really did love someone. "Who do you love?"

"I love me brother," he stated. Then he lighted his cigarette before going on. "I love him more than life itself, and I feel like shit because o' what I did. Why did ya want ta cheat on him? I did it outta spite, but ye…what reason could ya possibly have?"

"You were available, and it's not like you stopped me, is it?"

It was then that Connor loathed her. He went from disliking, to liking, to loathing her all within twenty-four hours. He glared at her for a moment. "Follow Murph ta that gas station," he demanded harshly. The tone made her give him a confused look.

As soon as the engine cut, Connor got out. He needed out. There was no way in hell that he would stay in that car with that bitch. So he took his cigarette and walked up to the AMPM that happened to be there. He didn't go inside. He just stood against a wall and smoked. He could see Murphy sitting at a pump, but making no move to get out of the car. As Connor watched him, he got to thinking, and we all know how dangerous that is.

Almost three weeks of a lack of Murphy's company had taken its toll on Connor. And it was definitely Murphy's fault. It had to be. It was because Murphy was always somewhere else that Connor got so lonely he could scream. It was Murphy's long distance that had been driving Connor up a wall, and he was sick of it. That _totally_ justified him sleeping with Murphy's girl. "Fuck me," Connor muttered under his breath.

How could he blame it on his brother? Fuck, that was Murphy and it wasn't Murphy's fault that Connor has been a depressed sop the last few weeks. Besides, it wasn't even that he was jealous of Murphy or anything. It was more that he was jealous of Valiance. _She_ was the one that had Murphy all to herself and _she_ was the one who didn't even like him like he deserved to be loved. It was all so stupid at the moment, and Connor thought it was laughable how confused he was getting over this stupid shit.

"I shouldn't have done it," he stated to himself. When he looked up at last, he noticed a familiar certain some one in the few people that were coming and going from the store. Murphy was grumpily shoving change in his coat pocket.

Without a second thought to stop himself, he grabbed Murphy's good arm and turned him around. Murphy's coat was buttoned up for the first time, and somehow Connor immediately registered that as Murphy not having his shirt. He'd used it to bind his leg and wrist.

"Th'fuck d'ya want, Connor?"

"I need ta talk to ya. An' no, it can't fuckin' wait, c'mon!"

Murphy stumbled only slightly when his brother pulled him along around the store, his ankle still not agreeing with him. "Why back here?" he asked, more annoyed than curious.

"Shush," Connor replied. "Look, I feel like the biggest bitch in the world right now."  
"Ye are." Murphy nodded sharply to emphasize the point. "That all? I'd really like ta get home."

"No wait, hear me out, will ya?"

When Murphy tried to just scoff and walk away, Connor grabbed him almost violently and pushed his back against the wall. Wide-eyed, Murphy raised his hands defensively; a tiny wince shimmied through his frame when he stepped awkwardly on his bad leg. "Fine! I'm listenin', fuck!"

"Good." His hands held both of Murphy's shoulders, holding the darker twin against the wall, just in case he tried to walk away while Connor spilled his heart out. "I feel like a jack ass, an' I finally figured out why. All those days ya weren't there, I got so pissed off an' now I know it's not just because it takes me a hell of a time ta get sharpie off my skin. An' when I slept with Val behind yer back I thought it was a way ta get back at ye, it wasn't cause I enjoyed it er anythin'."

"Reach a point, or I'm outta here." Murphy still had a bit of a glare, but less "I want to kill you" and more "you're not making any sense!"

"Murphy, I'm not jealous o' ye. That en't why I got so pissed off. I'm jealous o' Valiance, 'cause yer hers and not mine, an' she doesn't care about ya, Murph. Not like I do." Silence on the other end of the conversation. "Why can't…why can't we be like that?"

For a moment, Murphy wasn't quite sure if his brother was talking or someone else. "Be like what?"

"Be like how ye and Val started out. I mean…ya hardly even hug me anymore and when ya do it's like yer tryin' ta get away from me."

No more anger. Connor seemed so serious about this that Murphy couldn't help but consider him. He had never thought that Connor would be so affected if he wasn't around. When he was out with Val, he'd figured that the fact that he was often miserable wasn't mutual with his twin, but now that he thought about it, it made sense. "Connor…I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was…"

"No, don' do that." Connor's grip on his brother's shoulders had loosened, but he didn't let go. "Just…Can I touch ya like I used ta? Or, not like I used ta, but…" He couldn't put it into a frame of words.

Murphy had an inkling of what Connor was trying to say, and in all truth, he could understand the urge. "_Haga con mí qué usted desea_(3)," he stated. He'd felt it once or twice himself.

"_¿Realmente?_" Connor had to be certain, and the sharp nod of his brother's head made him completely sure. Hesitantly, he slid his hands down Murphy's chest and then switched languages from Spanish to French as easily as a person would breathe. "_Est-ce que je peux vous embrasser?(4)_"

With a light-hearted chuckle, Murphy placed his hand on his brother's shoulder and pulled him ever so much closer and kissed his lips as it is expected a man to kiss a woman.

Connor felt that tight knot of guilt that had been nagging at the back of his head all day finally untangle and disappear. He quickly unbuttoned his brother's coat and pressed his hands against the hot, bare skin there. Out of the thousand things in the world that are wrong, this feeling was the most right. Connor aversely broke the tender lip lock with his brother and looked him in the eyes. A flash of a wicked smile and a tug on Murphy's jeans and both had officially decided what they wanted to do when they got home.

"Ahem," Val cleared her throat from the far corner of the wall where the front of the store was. She had probably been there for a while now, and she was over-all astounded by what she had just seen. Not just the fact that Two brothers were making out behind a store, she could get past that. What she almost didn't believe was that she had just seen something she didn't think existed. "Having fun?"

Connor barely glanced at her. He was still precariously close to his brother, and he didn't care how it looked. Murphy sighed and looked over at her with a wry smile. "Yeah, a lot more than I had with ye." He laughed slightly when he felt Connor kiss him just below the ear.

"G'bye, Valiance," Connor called before turning his attention once more to his brother's neck and jaw. He didn't wait until he was certain she was gone. He ran his tongue over his brother's tendon and then gently sucked on the skin.

Murphy wrapped his arms around his twin's shoulders as Valiance's face adopted a look of disgust that he almost wanted to laugh at. She practically ran around the corner away from them. That didn't matter. She didn't matter. She was a whore.

"Yer gonna leave a mark," Murphy whined quietly after a moment.

"Just say yer girlfriend gave it to ya." Connor smirked at him and then ran his thumb over the reddish blot he'd left on Murphy's neck.

"So yer my girlfriend? Jesus, what would Rocco say ta that?"

"That don' matter," Connor stated firmly, "He an' Da are dead, nothin' I can do about that."

"Fuckin' finally!"

* * *

1 "Don't forget, a condom." (German)

2 "Come back soon, please." (French)

3 "Do with me what you wish" (Spanish)

4 "Can I kiss you?" (French)


End file.
